Dumbarton Connect

                                                           I pity much his case
    Unless he come to wait upon
                                                                                                      The Lord, their god, 'His Grace'

        There's naething here but Highland pride,
                                                                                                       And Highland scab and hunger:
                                                                                                       If providence has sent me here,
                                                                                                    'Twas surely in an anger.

From Inveraray, Burns and his two companions rode by way of Clachan, Cairndow, through Glen Kinglas to the summit of the Rest and be Thankful, Arrochar and Tarbet on Loch Lomond. At Bannachra our travellers became ensconced in a party which certainly brightened Burns mood. There was Scottish dancing and singing until the ladies retired at 3 a.m. when a punch bowl was filled. This kept them going till 6 a.m. when they all went outside to pay homage to the sun as it arose over Loch Lomond.
Presumably after some sleep, they spent that same day sailing on Loch Lomond, prior to dining that night at Arden.
After leaving Arden, Burns and Jenny Geddes had an impromptu race with a highlander which left Burns in a sorry state because of a fall. Burns appeared to be winning until "Donald" wheeled his horse and brought them down. Donald ended in a hedge and Burns received a skinful of cuts, bruises and wounds.
They reached Dumbarton by way of Balloch and Renton. On 29th June, the magistrates of the town presented the poet with his Burgess Ticket.
Dumbarton is proud of its association with Robert Burns. It also has the distinction of being one of six Scottish Burghs which made Burns a freeman during his life. The other five are Jedburgh, Dumfries, Linlithgow, Lochmaben and Sanquhar. His Burgess Ticket is a treasured relic, preserved in the council's archives. Highland Mary's two nieces are buried in a little churchyard at Renton.

This story is told in verse on the "Rabbie's Return tae Dumbarton" VCD. See button on the lefthand margin.

The full text of the version as performed at the 2006 supper is below.

Rabbie’s Return tae Dumbarton

John R. Mclean 2006

It’s o’er twa hunner years since frae life ah slipped

Sae Ah thocht Ah’d come back an’ tak a trip

Tae a’ the places whaur Ah hud been

An see if folk were still as keen

O’ a’ the thochts Ah’d pit oan paper.

Or are they up tae ither capers?

Are they jist as douce as me

An’ aye tak in aw that they see?

Aye Ah thocht Ah’d come an’ hae a look

For a’ the folk who’d bought ma book.

Ah goat as far as Inverary

But the Duke wus holdin’ a fishin’ pairty

Aye, the toon wus fu’ o’ Highland Pride

An’ there wus nae whaur there for us tae bide.

So Ah wrote doon the thochts that made me bile

When Ah couldna’ meet wi’ His Grace, Argyll

Ah went back doon o’er the Aray Bridge

Trying’ tae get awa frae that Highland midge.

Ah made guid time on Jenny Geddes

Roon Fyne ,thro’ Kinglas tae Croe she led us.

At Crocharibas we stopped for the night

At a place noo ca’d the Highland Man’s Height.

But the following day we’d be faced wi’ ruin

If we didnae reach the mooth o’ the Fruin.

We were at Bannachra for the next twa days Takin’ some time tae sail and play.

We pushed the bottle wi’ Airchie MacLachlan

Jist like the guid times Ah’ hud in Mauchline

he lassies left aboot hauf past three

They’d hud enough o’ oor company.

But the rest o’ us moved doon tae the bay

Tae wait an’ toast the Lamp o’ Day.

Well, Ah wandered on doon the Banks o' Lomond

That wus whaur Ah met wi’ the Highlan’Donald.

His horse and he had done me doon

When Ah fell an landed on ma croon!

Bit the place was still as Ah remember

Faur better than that Auld Reekie, Embra.

The peace, the quiet, was still quite glorious

As it had been a’ those years before us.

Ah wiz pleased tae see that a’ the folk,

Didnae think Ah wiz a kind o’ joke.

Some o’ them still sang ma sangs

Even though Ah’ve been deid ower lang.

Ma Auld Lang Syne is so well known

Ah wish the future Ah’d been shown ---

-- when Ah wrote these words,that still sound bright.

---- Ah’d a takin’ oot the copyright!

Ah trotted on down through Renton

Whaur Ah hud the guid intention

Tae see the place where the writer Smollet

Hud lived, an’ touched, this simple poet.

Some fellow Masons, with decorum

Showed me his great memorial column

We drank a toast tae that great thinker

Who gave the world his “Humphrey Clinker”.

On Ah went o’er the River Leven,

Tae the toon that’s surely made in heeven!

Dumbarton; tho’ known in ancient times

Wus still tae come intae it’s prime.

Sae history steeped, Ah hud little dou’t

The guid folk there would a’ turn oot ---

--- tae greet this puir wee lad frae Ayr

Wha’s poems he’d gied the warld tae share.

Ah met a lawyer cheil ca’d Lindsay

As Masonic Maister, he’d cam tae greet me,

His Dumbarton Lodge, Ah still remember,

Hud done me prood : an Honorary Member

Rab Lindsay hud, alang wi’ many,

Read ma poems and spent the penny.

Like a’ the folk who’d ta’en a subscription

He helped me sell ma Embra Edition

But it’s really sad that ye couldnae keep

The house where Ah had hus a sleep

MacAulay’s mansion fair an’ bricht

Wus where Ah hud spent the nicht

Aye, where once lived the wee Toon Clerk

Is noo a peacefu’, quiet park,

Whaur a’ the toon-folk walk an’ play,

An’ admire the flo’ors on a simmers day.

They said that Glencairn’s House wus still there

Though Ah couldnae really see quite where --

---Until Ah spotted the wee bit plaque ---

---- they’ve hud stuck up, an’ painted black.

The Great and Good all came tae see

And gaithered there tae remember me

Their guest of honour wis ma relation,

She spoke quite well o’ ma reputation.

And alang the street stauns a brand new kirk

Jist where that Auld Licht Oliphant used tae smirk

Oh, the building’s no’ the same of course

An’ against that man ah’ve nae remorse ----

--- Ah spoke o’ him in “The Ordination”

But tae staun at his grave is a strange sensation.

Ye know, Ah aften thought he was quite wicked
To mak them hide ma Burgess Ticket.

On Ah went through Dumbarton Toon

Tae see how much they hud pult doon.

But when Ah goat tae the Hoose Dumbuck

It wus there Ah felt ah’d cam’ intae luck.

There’s wis meetin’ there wi’ lots o’ folk

They’re a’ sat doon tae laugh an’ joke.

Some wan recited Tam o’ Shanter ----

----They’re fillin’ the room wi’ lots o’ banter

Aye, there’s lots o’ men sat doon tae dinner

Tae remember me ; a puir wee sinner.

They toast the haggis an’ drink the whisky

Sae naethin’ changed since ah wus frisky.

But they neednae dress wi’ sic pretension

Tae gie ma works a bit attention.

Thae dicky bows an’ starched white sarks

Are no required tae hear ma works.

Ah’d raither they were jist themselves

An no kid on they’re someone else ----

---Enjoy a wee bit fun an’ rhyme

Jist like Ah did in ma time.

So; coost yer duddies tae the wark

An sit there drinkin in yer sark,

Listen tae ma songs and sonnets,

An raise a glass and tip your bonnets

Oh aye! an ye toast the lassies, but they’re no there!

Is there no one here who disnae care--

----aboot the birdies in their life?

Noo , they might be someone else’s wife,

But that’s no reason tae ignore them;

They should be here tae mak up the quorum

A wee bit skirt in life’s a treesure,

Too bad tae miss oot on a’ that pleesure.

Oh! an’ there’s wan mair thing Ah must point out

There are folk in here wha sing an’ spout.

But maist o’ them are twice ma age

An’ they staun up there upon the stage

An’ gie us a’ o’ their very best, but what aboot a’ the rest--

O’ the young folk here, just sittin’, --- drinkin’

Is it no aboot time that they were thinkin’

O’ ge’in us some turns; maybe a sang

or a poem o’ Rabbie Burns.

Ah’d like tae thank some o’ yir members

Wha gied ye a’ some nights tae remember

Aye, the folk wha always grab attention

Are surely worth a special mention

So tae Barlow, Taylor, Cairns, and Kean

An ither folk who can aye be seen

Wi’ a song or a poem or maybe a speech

--- go on, try it yersel, it’s no beyond reach!

Tae wee McLean wae a sang or a quip,

An’ Stuart Cook who plays wi’ nary a slip

An’ Galt, an’ Thomson, an’ even John Sorbie,

An’ yer ancient member, thon Rory Murphy.

An tae Nelson, ye now him best as “Moir”,

He rules yer club like Conan the Destroyer

Bob Callander’s worth a second look,

He recites ma poems but he cooks your books!

John Young is ayeways fu’ o’ surprises

Wi’ Dow an’ Young and Armstrong’s surprises

Goldie an’ Hemphill, Jones an’ Hendry were just fine

But Ah’ll hae tae meet them some ither time

But Ah’ve left the best tae last, jist because Ah can

For that’s Jimmy, o’ the Hempstead clan

He writes an’ writes tae entertain us

His “Rhymes for Fun” fair made him famous.

Yer ain club’s history is his latest opus

That’s made ye a’ come into focus

For years an’ years he’s been in the “Chronicle”

He’s faur better known than yon Topaz McGonagall

Aye, there’s mony a story he can tell

For he knows mair aboot me than Ah dae ma sel’

Still, it wis nice tae hear ma wurk again

And know ma time’s no spent in vain.

But Ah’d better get back tae ma ain wee pub,

----------Ah hear they use for a club

Aye the auld Globe Inn is still ma local

The guid folk there are still as vocal,

But times anon, away doon south

They’ve gone an’ turned it intae the Howff!

So when e’er ye sit doon an think o’me

And, maybe, drink tae ma memory.

Jist bear in mind that Ah wis here,

And joined ye in yer hour of cheer.

The praise ye geid fair made me happy

An’ Ah drank wi’ you a pint o’ nappy.

Fareweel tae all who mind ma rhyme

Ah’ll visit ye here some ither time.

But jist wan last thing Ah want tae say

Then Ah really will be on ma way.

It’s jist tae ensure Ah get a staunin’ ovation

For ge’in ye this wee poetic oration.

Ah’ll gie ye a toast, tae yersells an’

no tae the lassies.

So, gentlemen, fill yer glasses,

get up aff yer arses--

Aye that’s the rub --- lets a’ toast

DUMBARTON BURNS CLUB.